Effie

What’s happening to her?

She’s gone from rational to irrational, from pristine to vulvarine, from frigid to feral.

And she doesn’t know who or what to blame.

She thought she’d mature like a fine wine – so why is she becoming a very dry martini?

She’s always been hot… but now she’s boiling.

She knew climate change was bad, but how did it get into her bits and bobs? Does her body need a total fire ban?

Is it politics? The Right and the Left are cracking it at each other – meanwhile she’s cracking it at everyone.

Is it the pressure? The cost of living? The cost of speaking? The cost of laser hair removal?

Is it her family? Her marriage? Her career?

Being human comes at a huge price, and that hurts – especially for a cheapskate like her.

If she doesn’t get answers soon, she’s going to start looking up mushroom recipes.

Join Effie as she untangles the mass of grey matter that is the physical summit of female evolution.